We have been home now for over 3 months. It truly feels as though we have been family forever. Not that everyday is easy, there are SO many challenges that we deal with on a daily basis. These boys spent their whole lives outside of a family and a true home. It is a long road overcoming the trauma of abandonment and institutionalization. In all honesty, I did not understand just how effected our boys would be because they were so young when we brought them home. Both are effected very differently, and it is getting better and better. However, both have been effected. That said, there are challenges with raising kids. Parenting is messy and hard no matter how our children come to us or what their history holds.
This is Tobi the day we met him. A sweet, laid back, baby boy. His head was unstable, his body very limp. He could not sit up unassisted. He was a sweet natured baby boy, but every smile was guarded and very hard to earn. Eye contact was nonsexist in those first days.
I fell in love with this sweetheart the moment I laid eyes on him. I had no idea what his future held, what he could accomplish. What I did know is that he was mine and that I was his.
We witnessed our little guy transform over the weeks that we were staying and visiting him during our court process in Ukraine. He got stronger, began to make eye contact and to smile without our having to break a sweat, and started to vocalize some.
We still could not see what his future held, but we started to see glimpses of the progress he would make.
Look at this sweet boy now, almost 4 months later!
He is sitting, crawling (he prefers army style!), pulling himself up on things, and cruising along furniture. The physical progress is great, but even more is the social progress he has made!
He lights up when we walk into his room! He says, "Mama" on purpose and then laughs at my excitement. He does not just smile and laugh in response to us, but he initiates interaction. He crawls to me for a hug or to show me a toy. He crawls to his siblings, looking to play. He does silly things and waits for a response (and gets so tickled once it comes). He is still the sweet, mostly laid back little man that we met. He is also very different. We've seen him blossom within our family. He has found his place and is so very very loved!
And then there is Josiah. Here he is the day we met. He was so so tiny and his body was so sick, but his spirit was so alive. He sought connection the moment we met him.
He looked in our eyes as if taking us in. It was honestly as though he knew us. He was famous in both hospitals he stayed in during our time in country. He has a personality that draws people to him. As we would walk him up and down the hallway, the other mamas would yell out his name and wave. He'd respond with his amazing smile.
He seemed to know that we were different from very early on. He was very social and very ready to connect emotionally.
His body was so tiny, but so strong. He had great muscle tone, but we were so very worried about his lungs and his heart. Shortly after we got home, he was hospitalized because of very low oxygen levels from a little virus he picked up. After a week in the hospital and many tests and specialists, we had answers and a plan. His lungs were damaged because he was aspirating his formula into his lungs. They had us thicken his formula and changed his nipples and he has been healthy now since.
He now has a healthy body that can keep up with his amazing spirit! He lights up our house! He has become a very big Mama's boy. He prefers to smile at everyone else from my arms :) He also loves his siblings and is especially close to Sam.
I honestly cannot fathom our house without our guys in it! I will not make this out to be just a bed of roses. Let me tell you, these boys are amazing but they come to us with much more baggage than most adults I have known. We love them so very much, but they have issues that cannot just be loved away. Some that will follow them for their whole lives. That said, we are in it. A family does not mean perfection. It means that you are not alone in your mess. It means that there are others that are willing to jump in the hard stuff and wrestle the hurts right along with you. It is called love. And we have a lot of it!
And then there is Josiah. Here he is the day we met. He was so so tiny and his body was so sick, but his spirit was so alive. He sought connection the moment we met him.
He looked in our eyes as if taking us in. It was honestly as though he knew us. He was famous in both hospitals he stayed in during our time in country. He has a personality that draws people to him. As we would walk him up and down the hallway, the other mamas would yell out his name and wave. He'd respond with his amazing smile.
He seemed to know that we were different from very early on. He was very social and very ready to connect emotionally.
His body was so tiny, but so strong. He had great muscle tone, but we were so very worried about his lungs and his heart. Shortly after we got home, he was hospitalized because of very low oxygen levels from a little virus he picked up. After a week in the hospital and many tests and specialists, we had answers and a plan. His lungs were damaged because he was aspirating his formula into his lungs. They had us thicken his formula and changed his nipples and he has been healthy now since.
He now has a healthy body that can keep up with his amazing spirit! He lights up our house! He has become a very big Mama's boy. He prefers to smile at everyone else from my arms :) He also loves his siblings and is especially close to Sam.
I honestly cannot fathom our house without our guys in it! I will not make this out to be just a bed of roses. Let me tell you, these boys are amazing but they come to us with much more baggage than most adults I have known. We love them so very much, but they have issues that cannot just be loved away. Some that will follow them for their whole lives. That said, we are in it. A family does not mean perfection. It means that you are not alone in your mess. It means that there are others that are willing to jump in the hard stuff and wrestle the hurts right along with you. It is called love. And we have a lot of it!
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