We All Need Somebody

I learned a lesson this last week. One that I may have to learn over and over again. One I am sure that God will use to teach me more about Him, myself, and His body. I am not good at asking for help. I am really good at making it look like I have everything together. Maybe too good at it. At least until the balls that I am juggling begin to slip and fall. Last week, my exhaustion caught up to me. I just couldn't keep everything going anymore. I had no choice but to ask for help. 

In August, when the little boys moved up to the 2 year old class, it did not take long to realize that if this class was going to work for Tobi he was going to need lots of one on one direction. If I went to class with him, I could show him the ropes and redirect when needed. I added yet another ball to my very full hands, not realizing just how that would effect the rest of my family. It means that Tobi gets to be in the class of his peers, but it also means that I have not been to church or Sunday school myself since. Little by little, I began feeling isolated and lonely. My quiet times would be interrupted and I would sometimes skip them altogether. Satan took that foothold and it wasn't long before I began feeling more than a little overwhelmed. I was plain tired. 

In the meantime, every time I went anywhere, someone would comment about how great I was. Calling me supermom or something along those lines. Only, I knew the truth. The balls were beginning to slip and the more I tried to juggle on my own the more desperate I felt. I knew something needed to change. I told Marvin and he called one of our pastors. He and his family came over and we enjoyed a visit. And I asked for help. And without hesitation, found some relief. 

I am so thankful for a church that loves the way Christ does. One that sees a need and meets it. One that cares about people on an individual basis. One that serves. One that listens and hears. That is what I needed most. 

I think a lot of times women, moms, and especially moms of children with special needs are so used to holding things together. I am sure I am not the only one that has a hard time asking for help. Don't be afraid to reach out and let someone see the cracks. Find somewhere to get support and find someone that is willing to come along beside you. 

If you know a mom of a special needs child, whatever need that may be, reach out and let her know that it is okay to ask for help. Stand along side her and be there to take a few of those balls that she juggles when she feels like she just can't hold it all up any longer. Speak life to her.

I have heard it said that God only gives special kids to special moms. PLEASE, don't say things like that! We are no more special than any other mom. We need help and we need support. We need people to be willing to step beside us and help us carry it all. We need people to carry us to Jesus when we get too busy or just too plain tired to walk to Him ourselves. We need people to encourage us and to pray for us. 

I am so thankful I don't have to walk this journey alone.  

Not My Favorite

I'm not doing a great job staying on top of the everyday blogging thing... I've sat down to start a few, but life has a way of changing plans. This week we have been doing the boys' annual assessments for their early intervention program on top of all of our regular therapies and appointments. 

 For those of you that have not lived the special needs life, an annual assessment is kinda like a test that gives an overall snapshot of development. It is a hard time for me. I know the boys are both behind developmentally, but in our everyday lives, it is not really something we dwell on. We work around their delays and work hard to catch them up in purposeful play, but it is life and we enjoy it. When assessment time rolls around, they make progress, no doubt about it. 

They both have made a lot of progress since last year's test. However, they are still behind and that is a hard thing for me to hear. It is very hard for mama bear to listen as a third party looks under a microscope and picks apart all of your child's faults. I know it is their job. Those delays have to be highlighted in order to be addressed and a plan made for progress. I know it is not a personal attack, but it still makes my mama bear stir.

 I am thankful that our Early Intervention specialist is very positive. For every negative she sees, she addresses several positives. I need that. The assessment doesn't take into account Tobi's new giggle or Josiah's awesome dance moves. They do not measure the pure excitement that these boys have in the everyday things. They don't measure the sweet hugs and kisses that we are showered with daily. There are many things that are assessed, but they are meant to find the delays and faults. They miss all the amazing strengths that we have come to see and enjoy. 

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Little Buddies and Double Trouble

For a long time, Tobi and Josiah largely ignored each other. They would look at each other across the room periodically, but that was as good as it got for quite some time. They began building a relationship little by little, much like they do everything else. It has been very fun watching this twosome grow together, even if that does mean double trouble at times (a lot!). I thought it would be fun to just show a glimpse of their antics together for the 31 for 21 blog challenge.

 These 2 were in the same orphanage, but not in the same groupa.

This is their first meeting, on the train on Gotcha Day

Their last night sleeping in Ukraine

There has been much team trouble (and a LOT of food!)

 Lots

and Lots

of food :)

Music is a common interest for these two... and their Abba too :)

Good times in this side by side stroller

Becoming true buddies that enjoy being together

Amazing how much they can communicate with no words. It is so fun to watch their wordless conversations!

Swinging together

It is safe to say that these two cuties keep all of us on our toes. I hope that as they grow, their bond will grow as well. We are so thankful that in all things, they have us and they have each other.

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Back to the Start

I thought I would start with the beginning and how we got here for the 31 for 21 blog challenge. Many of you have read this all before or walked it with us. It was God, from the very start. We had NO idea that we would be where we are today 5 years ago. Even 3 years ago, for that matter. I can look back and know that God was setting the stage long before that time, but we were being prepared unawares. I think it is pretty cool to look back and see so clearly how the preparations started and yet be so clueless at the time. 

If you had asked us 5 years ago, we would have told you that our family was amazing. We would have said that we would love to adopt a child someday... Someday when our lives settled down and our children were grown. Someday when the military would be out of the picture except for the nice retirement. Someday when it was more convenient. And then God :)

Many things happened just before and during our move to Marvin's shore command. He began to to work on our hearts and our circumstances. Little by little, in many different ways, He began to open us up to adoption. We began asking people to pray for us as we started making decisions. And then we waited to see the next step. On a drive, words came out of my mouth that I had never seriously considered before that point. I asked Marvin if he would be open to special needs adoption. His answer was that he would pray about it. And so we began to pray, and I began to research. I googled special needs adoption and found Reece's Rainbow. I looked through the many faces of children that began to break my heart. I would look through the pictures of waiting children and pray for them. A few weeks later, a friend sent me the link to her friend's blog. That friend had just adopted 2 boys from Ukraine and had a documentary posted on that blog about the special needs orphans in Ukraine. Sitting in the bed, watching those children with so much potential wasting away, tears began to stream down my face. God spoke into my heart at that moment. He brought several verses to my memory on our job as Christians to care for the orphan. He had opened our eyes and we had a choice to make. What were we going to do? Just a few days later, I found the picture of a baby girl that grabbed my heart. I showed her profile to Marvin and asked if I could just inquire. I had no idea at the time where she was and knew very little about her. I was informed that there was another family that had already began to inquire about her and so we waited. We did learn that she was located in Ukraine. Coincidence, right?! Before that blog, I had no idea where Ukraine even was. In that few weeks times, God broke my heart for the children there. While we waited, we began to research the process for adopting from Ukraine. We needed to know if moving forward was even an option for us. We found that it was the perfect fit. The other family did decide to move forward. However, soon after that, a group of baby boys were listed. I saw this picture and I just knew. This was my son. I woke Marvin up and asked him to look at these sweet boys. He knew right away too.

And so it began. Our journey to Ukraine. He was born with an extra chromosome, in a country where different is hidden away. He was hidden away, but God allowed him to be found. We saw the treasure where others had seen a burden. We began the race to get to him. Almost the same time we found our Tobi boy and began our adoption process, another family was placing their son in the very same orphanage. We did not know at the time that he even existed. We added a second child to our paperwork because we were told we could and should if we were open to that possibility in any way. We learned of his arrival to the orphanage a few months into our process, but at that time his paperwork was not complete. We decided that we would bring him home if his paperwork was completed on time, but that we would not slow down in reaching our Tobi boy. Just a short time before our paperwork was submitted to Ukraine, I received a picture of our sweet Josiah with news that his paperwork was ready.

Very soon after that day, we were meeting our boys, holding them in our arms for the very first time. Months before, God had opened our eyes. We responded by following Him and opening our arms. When we took that first step of obedience, we had no idea what blessing was to come. When they placed our boys into our arms, they gave us an unimaginable gift. It breaks my heart that our blessing came from such brokeness and pain. I wish it could have been different, but I am so thankful that these boys have been given to us. 

Our very first smile from Tobi in country :)

Sweet boy has come so far :)

Josiah was so very tiny and sick during our time in country

But he was sunshine even then

Sweet Jojo now

And so began our journey as a family :)

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31 For 21 Blog Challenge

October is Down Syndrome Awareness month. With that comes an awesome opportunity to raise awareness for many things that are incredibly special to me! And so, I have accepted a blog challenge, called 31 For 21, to blog everyday in October to raise awareness about Down Syndrome and all the amazing things that have come into our lives as a family since it touched us. Before we met our boys 18 months ago, I had no real in depth knowledge about Down Syndrome. I had read books and met a few precious people that had that extra chromosome, but I had only glimpsed the very tip of the iceberg. I hope this challenge can provide a glimpse into our everyday lives, both the good and the bad. I cannot promise every post will be long or informative, but my hope is to allow you a window into life with Down Syndrome and a very special organization that led us to find our boys, called Reece's Rainbow.

For those that do not know our story, I'll give a quick introduction. My name is Angel and I am married to an amazing man, named Marvin. Marvin is in the Navy and I am a stay at home wife and mommy. We have 7 children. Five of them are our biological children and the last 2, the boys that sport that extra special extra chromosome, were both adopted from Ukraine. They were both placed in the orphanage because of that extra 21st chromosome. I will blog more in depth about that later! 

         

I'm excited to get back into blogging, it has been a while since this was a daily habit! Hopefully I am up for this challenge!

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