In Another's Shoes

I learned recently of a group of mamas that follow Reece's Rainbow and the children listed there. I have met many women since we started this journey who have a heart for the precious little ones listed for adoption. They pray for, cry for, and hurt for these sweet children. Only this group of women is different. They are watching, waiting, and yearning in a way that no one else possibly can. They are doing these things from the other side. They are a group of birth mothers half way around the world. My heart hurts for these women. I wonder about our boys' birth mothers. Are they part of this group of women? Torn between love for a child she so desperately wants and the knowledge that they cannot provide for his needs in a country that refuses to see his worth. Do they regret walking away? Do they think about and pray for their sons? Do they wish it could be different?  Do they read about us and our journey? Up until this point, I could not fathom the hardheartedness it would take for a mother to walk away from the child that grew within her. To be able to waive her title and rights away and to walk out of the hospital knowing what would soon happen. A quick google of Special needs orphans in  Eastern Europe yields some horrific things. I cannot fathom willingly allowing my child to be taken there and then continue to live my life. There are many in Tobi and Josiah's country that do this. However, I am finding out that there are others that do not just forget when they walk out of that hospital. They sign their rights away to free their child for international adoption. They watch, wait, and hope that someone a half a world away would be drawn to and choose their child. To save them from a future of life lived in an institution. To give them the hope of a society that can provide opportunity and a future. I do not know if Tobi and Josiah's families are among these. Hoping and praying. I do not understand, but my heart has been softened. I can say that I would not do it, but I have also spent my life walking in American shoes, knowing a God of love. I am choosing to love and pray for our boys' families. Whether they have walked away and forgotten these children that we love dearly or are out there watching and hoping for their futures, my heart hurts for them. I do not know if their choice was a selfish one or the most selfless one a mother could make. Either way I could not imagine making it. They chose to give our boys life when they could have easily sought abortion. They gave them a future when they made them available for adoption. I wish that things could be different. I pray that this country begins to see the value and worth of every child as so many families seek them and sacrifice to redeem them. I pray that God would use us and the many others He has called to walk the same path toward their own sweet ones. That they would begin to understand the love of a God that longs for them. A God that loves them. Only once this God is known can their society change. Only once they begin to see and to believe what real love is can that love begin transforming a nation. I hope our boys'  birth mothers love them, because they are worth loving. They are a gift, just as every life is. I pray that our boys' mothers see them this way. I may never know. I do know that behind these children that have so captured our hearts are families and stories. It is heartbreaking.

Moving on Up!

Have you checked out our thermometer lately? When I first put it on the blog, that total number made me panic. I'm gonna be real here, the financial aspect of this adoption freaked me out! Not enough to not follow God where He was leading, but enough to cause me to have panic attacks on more than one occasion. We have plenty to meet the daily needs of these 2 boys, but what if we could not get them home to meet those needs? I love how we've been able to watch the thermometer rise! We are over 2/3 of the way to fully funded! We have been blown away by so many that have given so much to help us get our boys home. Home to a place that they will be surrounded by a family that already loves them. Thank you does not seem even close to enough. Every single donation has helped get us closer to being able to bring our boys HOME! We are about 4-5 weeks away from traveling! I can hardly believe it! I cannot wait until our sweet boys are placed in my arms. We still need a bit to reach our goal. If you have felt led to give but just haven't found the time, would you consider acting now? We are so close I can almost feel them! The Reece's Rainbow site was down for a few days but is back up and running now! Would you consider hitting that donate button on the right and helping our boys realize what love and family means?

The Back Story (at least part of it)

It would take way too long to go over every detail that has led us to the place we find ourselves right now. I wanted to touch on a few of the biggest markers on our path, looking backwards. You see, the choice to adopt one and then two baby boys did not happen the day I posted about them. There were so many things that worked to bring us where we are.

There was a little girl that led us to inquire about special needs adoption in Tobi's country. She was not meant to be for our family (although she does have another family on their way to get her!), but she caused us to really research and pray about the special needs orphans in her country. This sweet face and another little boy on a documentary (that I'll post on the bottom of the post) confirmed our need to act. One of the biggest draws for us (before we laid eyes on our boy to be) was the fact that it is very easy and inexpensive to adopt 2 or more children at the same time. Many countries that allow 2 unrelated children to be adopted at once charge double the fees to do it. Tobi's country is not this way. There is a very minimal fee to adopt a second child. We felt called there, and it was confirmed when our boy was listed. We knew immediately that he was for us. I emailed Reece's Rainbow to find out about him. Within moments we were informed that he was located in the country that we had been looking into. This was confirmation for us and it did not take us long to move forward. The question we had to answer as we began our official paperwork was would we be adopting "Fletcher" alone or would we bring home 2. We sat down and looked at the qualifications we needed to meet first. We easily met financial/space qualifications for adopting 2 children. The question then was could we really raise 2 more children, 2 more children with special needs? The answer 6 years ago would have been a resounding NO! But, you see, that is exactly how we felt the moment that we discovered our 4th baby was actually 2 babies! We could not fathom meeting the needs of 5 children so close in age. How could we possibly give all of them all that they need?! And then we had them. Life was crazy and chaotic, but it was more wonderful than we could have imagined. You see, we experienced first hand that God provides exactly what is needed. We experienced first hand the joy that comes when we live beyond what we think we can bear. It is a LOT easier to jump into that pool a second time because we have seen God's faithfulness already. And so, we moved forward with 2 children on all of our paperwork.

The hard thing here is that Tobi's country is VERY concerned with children's privacy. Exact birth date, birth name, birth place, and current residence is not passed on to Reece's Rainbow. Only our team in Tobi's country has access to that information. So, finding another child in Tobi's orphanage became nearly impossible. We were told that the team was aware of our desire for a second child and that they would check on it. Nothing is submitted with any child's name until our paperwork was fully complete, so there was no hurry. When our homestudy was almost finished and had been reviewed by the team in country, we were informed that there was only one other boy that might be available for international adoption in Tobi's orphanage. This little boy was in the process of being cleared for adoption (a 6 month process). We had no other information about this second boy. However, we both felt complete peace about adding him to our family. That is a miracle in itself if you know me and my need for control. We asked God to hurry things through for this second boy and if it absolutely wasn't His plan, that the door would be shut. When we could not get our dossier submitted before the Christmas holiday (which is months long in Tobi's country), we were both encouraged that this might allow the second boy to get through the red tape. We had no idea who this boy was, we had nothing to even begin to form dreams for him, but we knew he existed. We prayed for him daily as a family. In the early hours of the morning when I could not sleep for anything, I would pour my heart out for this boy that only God knew. During those times of prayer, he was knit into my heart as a son. All I really needed to know is that he was. I knew in my heart that God would not give me this love for this boy if He was not going to give him to me to hold. About a month ago we were informed by our team that this boy had been cleared and would be ready for us. We had to wait for for them to tie the loose ends before we could announce it. The only information we got at that point was that he has down syndrome and was born in 2012. It took another week before I was given his picture. When I saw our boys' pictures side by side, they just looked as though they belonged together. At that point, it was confirmed that they should be brothers :)

And here we are. Almost a week closer to holding our sweet boys! There is so much more that I just don't have the space to write all at once. I will look back often over the next week. It helps make the time go faster as we wait to move forward. It is important to me to document the many things God has done to bring us here.

                            This is the documentary that convinced us that now was the time to act.

Little Sasha was the one that caused us to act. I just recently saw his picture now and was amazed at his                     transformation. 

Just One Step Away

We got a call yesterday to tell us that our paperwork was officially submitted to the government in our boys' country. Now we just wait for an invitation to travel. It typically takes about 4 weeks for that invitation to be given. I have dreamed for months about that moment when our boys will be placed in my arms. When they become more than pictures and dreams. I know enough about adoption to know that this may very well be a very difficult thing. I am praying that as we await this invitation that God would be preparing both of these boys to accept our love. To be able to trust us quickly. I am praying for a seamless transition. I am also praying that God would prepare us for them as well. That He would love through us. That as we serve these boys, that He would give us great wisdom to meet every need. Would you pray with us?

Prayers and a Father's Love

    I learned very recently of a family who is in Tobi's country, adopting 2 older boys right now. They are afraid that the adoption of one of the boys will not go through. In his country, older children have to give consent before they can be adopted. He has lived 7 years in a place that has never given him the love of a family, and he is refusing to give his consent. There is evidence that this boy is being mentally and emotionally abused in his orphanage. There is a family that have given their all to get to him and want nothing more than to love him. And yet, he is so terrified, he is refusing to allow it. As much as this family wants to sweep him up and bring him home, they will have to leave him behind if his mind has not changed by tomorrow. As I have been praying for both this couple and for this little lost boy this weekend, I saw a parallel to our God. Many places in scripture, God is compared to a father.  Oh how He longs to shower us with His love and to bring us under His wing and into His family. And yet, He has given us freewill and will not force Himself onto us. He wants us to see the love and good that He has for us and to draw close to Him. He wants us to say yes, be my Father, be my Lord. And yet, so many are so hurt, so afraid that they refuse. Maybe because they do not believe they are worthy. Maybe because life and the enemy has  so abused them. Maybe because they just can't fathom that His love could be real. I see the heartbreak that this family is going through, facing the possibility that this child they came to save refuses to be rescued. God longs for us in this same way. All we need to do is to give up and accept His love. We do not need to do anything at all, He has already done it. He has paid the price with His life, and is only waiting for us to stop fighting and risk His love. Would you join me in praying for both this little boy and his family tonight? I will not put their names out there, but God knows who they are. They will be in court tomorrow and whatever the outcome, they will need to be covered in prayer.

We Are Official

Today an amazing thing happened! A thing that seemed so impossible when we opened the email on October 18th with a list of documents that we would need to complete our dossier (our paperwork for Tobi's country). I cried, closed the computer, and ignored it for at least 24 hours. Everyone of those hours, asking God if He was sure this is what He wanted. It seemed so overwhelming. Today, just 3 months later, our dossier was officially preregistered to be submitted next week! Wow!!!! It seems almost impossible. Isn't that how God works, though?!!! Here we are, beginning to plan our trip and getting our home ready for our new sons to come to! I am not going to lie, this next part of our journey terrifies me. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to see Him working on every piece of this puzzle so far. It is so much easier to take the next step, knowing that He is active in this thing. I am not expecting an easy journey from here, in fact I am pretty sure it is going to be incredibly hard. But I know that God will be there, every single step of the way. We will do what He has called us to do. We will do it with joy, knowing that at the end of this journey, we will not only have 2 beautiful new sons, but we will be closer to our God. Many people have told us how great and strong we must be to do what we are doing. No, we are not. Not even close. But our God is! And so, we cling to Him, and we follow Him. I am over the moon excited to bring our boys home! I am even more excited to know God in a way that we never have before.

Big News All Around!

Look at our sweet Tobi boy!!!!! Can you believe how great he looks! Those chubby cheeks do this mama heart so good! I cannot wait to kiss those sweet cheeks! So much good news!

Our paperwork is altogether in Tobi's country!!!! They are checking it twice, translating it and getting it ready for submission to his government! It should be submitted toward the end of next week!!! Can you believe that? About 4 weeks after our paperwork is submitted, we will begin looking for an email invitation to visit Tobi's country... to meet our sons! No, that is not a typo!!!! We got some news this last week!

That little guy up in the right hand corner is the 7th little Q!!!! We have known for quite a while that our team in Tobi's country were working on getting another baby boy in Tobi's orphanage cleared for adoption. We told God that we would follow His lead. If this little guy was cleared before we got there, we would not leave him behind. Many things happened to prolong our homestudy, remember that MI state child abuse clearance? Once it was done, it was too late to get our paperwork in before the Christmas holiday. We could have been disappointed, but we knew God was working! And He was! Just last week, we were informed that this sweet baby boy has been cleared for international adoption! We have eagerly waited to see his sweet little face while the ladies at Reece's Rainbow got the last of the kinks all ironed out! I got a call from our stateside coordinator today when she sent me this picture of our 7th child!!!! His name will be Josiah Matthew Quiambao!!! He is living in the same orphanage as Tobi. They are the only two little ones currently available for international adoption in their orphanage. Marvin says that might be a good thing :) We don't have room for more... right now anyway.