Joy to the World?

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. The colors, the lights, the happiness, the cuddly jammies, giving gifts... I love it all. But this year has been very different. I am struggling. Badly. For a couple of reasons. I am torn. Torn between being present and active in our family, making memories, experiencing the magic of this season with my children and knowing that one of our children is a half a world away, unaware that we are out here, doing our best to get to him as quickly as possible. He is spending his very first Christmas in the same crib that he has spent everyday of his life. It is as if someone were to take one of my 5 and tell me they will keep them in a room and give them the minimum they need to survive for an undetermined amount of time, just go on with your life. I would not be expected to just be okay with that. I never understood how hard this part would be. I just did not understand the reality of the love felt for a child one has never met. I cannot explain it myself, I only know it is true. I am trying to trust God and find a balance. I have been blessed with 5 amazing children. They know genuine from fake, and so things are a little different this year. We are surrounded by pictures of orphans, we pray for them by name. We are focusing much less on the giving and getting of Christmas and much more on doing and caring. I cannot bring every one of these lost ones home. Oh how I wish we could. What we can do is make sure that they are prayed for and cared about. We will build the gingerbread house like we do every year. This year we will pray for those children that do not have homes as we do it. We decorate the tree, but along with all the regular ornaments, there are photos of children that we as a family are praying for. We will go Christmas caroling as we do each year. This time we will try harder to focus on those we visit, instead of just the fun we have with our friends. We will be together, our hearts broken for those that are alone. I think that might be what Christmas is supposed to be about. He came to seek and to save the lost. That IS the JOY.